Separation anxiety

Release time : 06/10/2025 09:30:02

Little babies develop a special bond with familiar people like their parents, caregivers, and babysitters.

Separation anxiety occurs when the baby is expressing his fear of an unfamiliar environment to a familiar person.

What is separation anxiety Many babies who have just entered kindergarten will cry and hug their mother's neck and refuse to let go.

Parents will definitely feel strange, why are the good children at home disobedient after going to kindergarten? In fact, this is all caused by separation anxiety.

So what is separation anxiety? Separation anxiety refers to an anxious mental state caused by the separation of your baby from familiar people.

This situation is mainly caused by changes in the surrounding environment. I have moved from a familiar home to a strange kindergarten, and from my parents to a group that no one knows.

This phenomenon is also called "psychological weaning period" and can cause the baby to have a series of physical and psychological stress reactions, such as decreased resistance, emotional restlessness, etc.

Over time, it will be accompanied by colds, fever, diarrhea, etc.

He will also tend to be withdrawn and irritable in character, refusing to communicate and play with his friends.

If we can't alleviate this anxiety at an early stage, it will cause serious harm to the baby's psychological and physiological health.

John Bowlby divided the separation anxiety of babies into three stages through observation: resistance stage -- screaming, kicking and making a fuss.

Disappointment Phase - Continues to cry, continues to fuss, less movement and noise, indifferent to others, expression dull.

Stage of detachment - accepting care from others and engaging in normal activities such as eating and playing with toys, but displaying sad expressions when seeing their mother.

The separation anxiety is about to hit the new-born enrollment time. It's the first time the baby leaves home and comes into a group living situation.

However, the baby's reaction was unexpected for the parents.

Some little kids are clinging to their mother's neck, refusing to let go, and they won't budge.

Some children, when they leave home, seem cheerful; yet upon returning home, they are no longer willing to attend kindergarten.

Even the children who go to school diligently often appear gloomy and morose throughout the day. They often have nightmares at night.

Seeing my baby's tears, the parents are really heartbroken.

In fact, it is normal for babies to have these series of behaviors when they first enter the park.

This is the first time that the baby has left his warm home, gone into contact with unfamiliar environments, met strange teachers and friends, and learned to take care of himself and truly began to become independent.

So how can we alleviate separation anxiety in kindergarten and let the baby adapt to the new life as soon as possible? 1. Let the baby prepare psychologically in advance.

Babies will have a strong sense of attachment to their parents. If they want to leave familiar people at once, their sense of attachment will be blocked, separation anxiety will occur, which will lead to insecurity.

Parents can take their baby to kindergarten for a tour and get familiar with the new environment before they officially go to school.

2. Separate a separate space in the home for your baby to have a certain amount of time alone, playing and reading, etc.

When babies don't see adults paying attention to them, it can foster independence and reduce their dependency on adults.

3. To cultivate a sense of anticipation in the child, allowing them to believe that at kindergarten, their teachers are there to help and that both older siblings have learned valuable skills through their joyful experiences at school.

4. Parents can still cultivate their baby's ability to perform basic self-care tasks such as dressing, using the toilet, and eating.

Lifestyle habits, such as naps during the day, can help baby build psychological confidence upon entering kindergarten.

5. Parents need to adjust their mindset and provide positive cues to the child.

When babies become attached to and dependent on their parents and do not want to go to kindergarten, many parents tend to soften and waver.

It is important to note that even though babies are young, they have a very sensitive sense of their parents' emotions and attitudes. When a baby detects any signs of instability in their parents, it can reinforce their reluctance to attend kindergarten.

Therefore, parents should maintain a positive attitude and keep a cheerful mood as they send their child to kindergarten. They should also promptly praise their child's progress, such as "You only cried once when you were at the kindergarten gate today; that's really great" or "You smiled and said goodbye to mom, which is very good."

6. Guide your child to interact with teachers.

Due to the presence of many babies around a few lead teachers, at times, if the babies are unable to articulate their needs, they may be overlooked.

Therefore, parents should teach their children to interact with teachers. They should express any needs they have to the teacher and trust that just as a mother would help them, the teacher will also love them.

7. When the baby returns home from kindergarten, parents can ask him what he learned at school today, and what was his most joyful experience. This helps parents understand their child's psychological state and promptly address any emotional issues.

Separation anxiety is a common experience for every baby. Once past this stage, parents will find that their child becomes increasingly lively and begins to love going to kindergarten.

Separation anxiety is a common manifestation in preschool children, particularly those who are separated from their familiar caregivers, such as mothers. When babies feel uneasy when separated from their loved ones, they experience significant anxiety.

This is a normal phenomenon, and it's part of human nature.

Parents should understand the manifestations of separation anxiety in order to help their baby overcome this period as quickly as possible.

1. Separation anxiety is manifested in physiological changes, with symptoms as follows: (1) Without the comfort of familiar adults by your side, you often refuse to go to bed.

(2) The frequency of nightmares has noticeably increased at night.

(3) The patient experiences recurrent headaches, vomiting, nausea, and stomach pain. These symptoms are especially severe when relatives leave the room.

(4) A decreased resistance often manifests as fever, colds, and abdominal pain, among other symptoms.

2. Separation anxiety manifests in emotional changes, characterized by the following symptoms: (1) Loneliness and sluggishness: This type of baby often shows a lack of interest in social activities and games, completely uninterested in collective activities, often immersed in their own world, living in their own fantasies.

To strangers, you show a tendency of being indifferent, less talkative and slow to react.

(2) Fear and Cowardice: Opposite to the brave children, timid children will have fears of darkness, fear of emptiness, fear of meeting strangers, and a reluctance to be alone.

Prolonged exposure to fear can lead to insomnia, nightmares, frequent crying, timidity, and a lack of confidence.

(3) Stubbornness and resilience: The child manifests resistance, crying, rolling around, or refusing to eat in response to slight displeasure, insisting on unreasonable demands.

(4) Rage: The child has a fierce temper. If he is dissatisfied, he will cry, make a fuss, shout, throw things, kick people, bite people, hit his head against the wall, etc.

There is also a more special manifestation that after a child cries or cries, he suddenly stops breathing and his face is cyanotic. He then convulses or "fainted" and then recovers after a while. It is medically called a breath-holding attack.

(5) Obstinate habits: manifested by sucking fingers, biting nails and skirts.

Originally, the sucking action is an innate physiological reflex.

But if it develops into a bad habit.

For example, sucking a pacifier and putting your fingers into your mouth to get the satisfaction of sucking milk will become a stubborn habit over time.

Causes of separation anxiety There are many reasons for separation anxiety. Parents and mothers should pay close attention to the baby's behavior and psychological changes, make adjustments and relief as soon as possible, and help the baby get through the anxiety period as soon as possible.

1. Huge changes in the environment. The baby has left his familiar family and entered a strange kindergarten, which has undergone huge changes in the environment. This change is a very important factor in separation anxiety.

(1) Changes in life rules and living habits. What to do in kindergarten must be carried out according to the schedule, when to eat, when to wash, when to go to class, and when to get up. This is completely different from the living habits at home.

Many babies 'lives at home are relatively casual and follow their own wishes.

Due to their mother's excessive pampering, some babies may also develop some bad living habits, such as staying up late at night, sleeping in the morning, etc.

Some babies are very energetic and don't have the habit of taking naps at home.

When a baby is just starting school, it takes time to adapt to the structured life of this institution.

Another important point is diet.

Some babies have developed the bad habit of picky eaters and partial eaters at home. After arriving in kindergarten, they will no longer have the privileges of the family and will be unwilling to eat.

(2) The relationship between adults and children. Children have just arrived in kindergarten and the teachers and friends they meet are strangers, so they can easily feel uneasy.

Moreover, in kindergarten, it is often 1 teacher who takes care of 15-30 children at a time, which is completely different from the situation at home.

In the home environment, babies receive one-on-one or even multiple-on-one special care, which may lead to feelings of loss when they enter kindergarten.

Another point is that in kindergarten, babies will naturally enter a competitive atmosphere, and how to get more attention from teachers and what toys they prefer.

(3) The requirement for increased independence, kindergartens no longer have adults providing close supervision. Many tasks need to be accomplished independently, such as eating by oneself, dressing oneself, using the toilet, and sleeping.

For these little babies who are not so independent, it is a big challenge.

2. Family factors can significantly impact whether a child can quickly adapt to the new environment of kindergarten. Educational family practices are an important factor in this process.

Parents can encourage their child's independence by not overly spoiling them, and consciously fostering their ability to explore new environments. This will help the child transition more smoothly into adulthood.

Conversely, if a baby is overly indulged and everything the baby does is done for them by parents, this can make it difficult for the baby to overcome separation anxiety. It can also lead to more serious emotional and physiological issues in the baby.

3. Own personality and experience. If the baby has had the experience of being separated from his parents once or many times before going to kindergarten, it will be easier to adapt to the new environment of kindergarten.

There is also an extrovert, lively and bold child who is more likely to adapt to the new environment and life than an introverted and timid child.

Countermeasures for separation anxiety: Separation anxiety is a negative emotional experience, and parents should help the baby get through this period as soon as possible.

There are the following main countermeasures for separation anxiety: 1. Make more contact with children of the same age.

Parents can plan to take their child to places where they can play with other children of the same age from the age of 1 year.

By the time you are around 2 years old, the number of times you play with children of the same age can be appropriately increased, and you can proactively encourage them to interact with other children. In places where children feel safe and familiar (such as grandma's home, grandma's home, and collar's home), try to let them try a brief separation from their parents.

2. Timely cultivate self-care abilities.

At different stages, attention should be paid to cultivating your baby's different abilities: babies around 1 years old can train how to eat with a spoon with the help of their mother.

Babies around 2 years old can eat independently with spoons or chopsticks.

Babies as young as 2 years old can start training to take off and put on pants so that they can find their own bedpan when urinating and defecating.

Babies aged 2.5 to 3 can urinate independently, such as taking off their pants and wiping their buttocks with toilet paper, and lifting their pants.

Children who learn the above can adapt to kindergarten life quickly.

3. Get familiar with kindergarten in advance.

In the first 1 to 2 months before officially entering kindergarten, parents can take their babies to visit and play near the kindergarten, and can also explain the fun of kindergarten to their babies. For example, there are many interesting toys, as well as many teachers and children, who can sing, dance, play games, etc. together, so that children are familiar with the kindergarten environment and yearn for kindergarten.

4. Spend the first day happily, and in the first month, continuously strengthen the benefits of kindergarten, discuss with your children the benefits of going to kindergarten, understand your children's thoughts, and provide reasonable explanations for dissatisfaction.

5. With the teacher's consent, bring your child a beloved toy (one that is not easy to damage and dangerous, such as a toy bear, etc.) so that the child's attachment emotions can temporarily transfer to the beloved toy.

6. Nowadays, many kindergartens attach great importance to the psychological development and education of young children. The management of children has shifted from being tough and obedient to being reasonable and individual help. It follows the laws of development and has a good effect. It shortens the period of separation anxiety for children, takes leave when they are sick and causes psychological disorders are reduced.

Prevention of separation anxiety, separation anxiety in kindergarten is a process that the baby will definitely experience, but if sufficient preparations are made in the early stage, the baby's sense of discomfort can be greatly reduced.

Mothers must learn carefully to prevent separation anxiety.

1. It is a very cruel thing to get used to leaving a mother in advance.

If we could have a gradual separation process for the baby, it would be easier to accept.

In the first half of the year before they officially enter kindergarten, parents must systematically move their eyes away from their children and gradually increase the time they spend separated from their babies many times to allow the children to slowly adapt.

Consciously let your child play, read, watch TV, etc. independently, or ask other people in the family to help take care of the baby.

Let him know that you are only leaving him for a short time and will definitely come back.

This process can help your child build trust in you.

2. Getting to know small partners and starting kindergarten means that the baby has left the protection of the family and officially begins to come into contact with collective life.

A relationship with children will help children adapt to a new environment.

Invite a couple of kindergarten classmates to your home to play or go outdoors together.

With your presence, children are more likely to develop positive relationships with each other and thus adapt to their new environment at kindergarten more easily.

3. Learn to express your needs. If you have always been careful, it is best to slow down your understanding of your child at this time and let your child learn to express their needs in words.

In a collective environment, children who can talk are easier to get help.

Life skills training should be conducted in advance. Sometimes, issues such as not being able to urinate or button up can become reasons for children to feel uneasy at kindergarten. Prompt identification and training of these skills can significantly alleviate child anxiety.

To understand the daily life requirements of preschool children, does it mean that they need to wear shoes and dress themselves? Are there teachers available to assist with diaper changes? Do they need some kind of life training?

The medical information provided in this text is for reference only.

In case of discomfort, it is advised to seek medical attention immediately. The diagnosis and treatment should be based on the examination conducted by a healthcare professional in person.